Starr is Screaming

I used to be a huge fan of Lily Orchard, because she was very cathartic to watch back when I had Conservatives on the brain much more frequently, and was thus intensely angry about them all day, and I wasn't confident in myself or my choices. Even years later, I continue to be drawn to really aggressive people in order to cope with how small and ineffective I feel sometimes.

I stopped watching her because I found out about Britt's allegations against her, which I only ended up finding because my best friend was deeply uncomfortable with the way Lily treated people, and I wanted to do more research. So I just wanted to take some distance for a bit, at least. Obviously forever if it turned out the allegations were true.

During that distance, I became a huge fan of Vaush, and one day I found a video of him covering Lily Orchard's video on Contrapoints, a YouTuber I was also a big fan of, and still am. I was shocked to find out that Lily had done a hit piece against Contra tbh, because that just wasn't in the usual "This MLP episode / show is garbage" territory I had grown used to before taking my distance.

Lo and behold, the video was HOT garbage, like just packed to the brim with outright lies, mischaracterization, and vitriol. And I was just... disgusted. That was what put me on the path to not only being wary of continuing to follow her, but outright disliking her. I went back and rewatched a few of her old videos and suddenly I was recognizing the same nasty tactics in those, where she was basically slandering people she didn't like or had some kind of beef with.

I also recall being really uncomfortable with her takes on taboo fiction, big surprise, even back when I was a fan. Because I've always felt the way I do about it, I've simply put more thought into it by now than I did as a teenager.

I also found her Twitter "writing tips" list to be laughably awful, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Two Professional Writers' takedown of it (especially already being a fan of Gus).

Now I'm still shocked while watching some other videos covering Lily, because I never expected her to go this deep into just... I'm not exaggerating, completely making up entire things about people that, if anything, have tons of evidence against, like she doesn't even do a whole lot of the clipping thing that most people do to streamers they hate (though she also does that), most of her take-down is flat-out made up lies based on literally nothing of relevance.

Here I was, terrified that someone would use my Aethy or old politically confused posts of mine in order to slander me, but Lily doesn't even try to properly ruin people, she just makes up shitty fan fiction about them and then touts it as the truth. Hearing her call Vaush a white supremacist and say he's not politically motivated was so bonkers.

I say all this mostly cause I just sorta felt like it? But also because, in a way, it's actually kind of liberating to know that NO MATTER WHAT I do to keep myself from being taken wrong, people will do it anyway, even if I give them no reason to. Even if I say absolutely nothing confusing. And that's somewhat comforting to me because it makes me want to go ahead and finally stop worrying SO much about what people say about me.

People are going to lie and throw shit and foam at the mouth no matter what, and tbh I'm still a sensitive motherfucker, but idk maybe one day I'll finally make that video I had considered making about how I used to idolize Lily, which I was TERRIFIED to make because I didn't want her sending harassment my way for the crime of mentioning her name.

Though tbh... I'm not sure I have much else to say about her than this, and I'm content keeping this as an extended showerthoughts-esque post on Aethy or Dreamwidth lol.

Iunno, I'm cool with just moving on from her! But figured I'd say all this, and if anyone else has experiences with her or her content, I'm always open to chat about it. :3

I haven't been all using the Dreamwidth in a little while...! I intended to keep posting here, but I guess I haven't been as long-winded lately, idk. Same with my art journal that I started. I almost never use it since getting home from vacation. ><

I'm still working on adding fun things to my Neocities!! But the base site is ready if anyone wants to check it out: https://starrbar.neocities.org/

Oh, and I'll be on Art Fight again this year. ^^


Here: https://artfight.net/~Starrbar

Got more updates probably, but I'm gonna go for now ovo.

Also ow, been doing a sad roleplay for a few days and I was goddamn raw a couple days ago! It's so intense, bro...

Also also I do plan to finish my Annie & Professor journal! Just got mega distracted.

I've just started to read BlackLillian's side of Law of Talos, and it is VERY engaging so far! I've finished the intro, and now have the brain capacity to appreciate this writing, unlike when I read it a literal decade ago.

I'm just going to update this blog post whenever I have more to say, since Dreamwidth strikes me as less of a Twitter and more of a Journal.

As anyone who recognizes the title knows, Unknown-person's entries staring Karl are beyond incredible, but I have to know what amazing, out-of-this-world story managed to beat it in the final round. Surely I'm in for a mind-blowing experiene!

Here is a doc with links to tons of the entries from the tournament. Including, of course, all the Annie & Professor entries! The unavailable ones may yet be out there somewhere, but for the purpose of this journal, I see no reason to look further.

ROUND 1

Damn, these are hard to find!

So far, I'm managing to read them fine though. Halfway through round 1.

I love the way Annie's dialogue is written, following the shape of things in the background and lacking punctuation at times to show how frantic her thoughts are.




A-HA! Love the ending of round 1. Annie just storming off with SO MUCH RAGE. Amazing.

ROUND 2

I love the Professor being like

also god damn, Annie is so witty and fun. I love watching her.


What a woman. <3

I don't know how of the historic text is directly from the opponent's backstory, but I really like the way it was delivered nonetheless. I like that the Professor gave him and his partner advice after defeating them, as he has no intention of crushing someone's dream.

And of course, Annie's rage was delicious.


I'm already so invested in these characters, and I wanna know what Annie wants to know hehe.

I've been frantically posting about Pikmin on Blorbo ever since my friend got me hooked on it.

As always, Starr is LATE to the party, but I had never experienced anything involving Pikmin at all until she convinced me to download Pikmin Bloom so we could do challenges together.

I put it off, but finally said, "Okay yeah I got you." And then my lazy, tired as fuck, only-wants-to-draw-and-play-video games ass... started walking after work!

I love the pikmin. I love everything about them, even the stuff that annoys me.

I love how cute and silly their simple designs are. I especially love the purple one because um, hello, it's pudgy and round and squishy hhhhhhhh <3

I love the noises they make, every single one, but my favorite is the happy "Whoohhh!" the yellows give off in the first game when they pick up bomb rocks.

I love how they're so smart, but so dumb. Able to decipher what Olimar wants them to do, work together to accomplish grand tasks, and electing to collect things for me on their own... and yet, never ever looking down so they fall into water or just standing there as a bomb ticks down.

I love that they get so hopelessly distracted by grass. They need that nectar fix so bad, man. They get drunk off the stuff.

I love that they sing when we run around in Pikmin 2! (I've only played those three games thus far, but I've already bought the third and will also buy for fourth.)

I love that they kick ass together!! YAS, KILL!!!

I just, bro, I don't even know. I don't know what to tell you besides JUST LOOK AT THEM. Look at this little ooby dooby boi!


(from this post)

In this house, we love and appreciate! Every! Single! One!

One thing that always baffles me and that I legit continuously forget about because it’s such a weird concept to me is that lots of people think that to “ship” a pairing is to view it as completely healthy and ideal for both characters involved, and to thus want it to be canon.

But that’s… just not the case with so many ships??

Think of it this way. I could legitimately see a ship as “relationship goals” and “should be canon”, but I could just as easily see it as a thriller or toy train crash or a way to vent about my own, real issues that I’ve had to overcome.

When I watch a horror movie, I don’t necessarily want my favorite characters in it to die. And even when I do want people to die, it’s not because I think it’s a good thing?? It’s because I know it’s fake and it’s fun to watch or think about. It’s fun to play superhero punching the bad guy. It’s fun to play games where you set people on fire or make a giant fish swallow them.

And when I “ship” something ungodly toxic or downright awful, it’s not because I’m under any impression that it represents a relationship that should be imitated or strived for. It’s because it’s thrilling. It’s exciting. It’s weird. It’s even uncomfortable sometimes, but it’s uncomfortable in a therapeutic way.

I’ve never seen someone ACTUALLY glorifying the unhealthy aspects of their favorite ship. I only ever see people playing toy trains or coping with trauma.

And it’s goddamn bizarre to me that so many people think of “shipping” as an inherently prescriptive thing when it’s actually just a game.

It’s just a game.

It’s JUST A GAME.

I'm not much of a journal-writer anymore. I didn't realize that was the main purpose of this site until I joined, but I was desperately looking for somewhere new since Tumblr is being awful atm. But! I will use it as a way for people to find me and see if we'd connect well.

Namely for roleplays or fandom-talk, honestly.

I like to roleplay in paragraph format, I'm a big fan of smut and dark themes (no details unless you ask privately), and right now I like rping as Present Mic from Boku no Hero Academia. I may rp as Aizawa or All Might too if people want, and I enjoy playing as Shigaraki and Toga when villains are involved. I also have OCs from their own canons, if anyone is interested to know about that. I'm an artist and writer, and some of my other social media profiles are linked below.

Twitter: OhTheStarrbar
Tumblr: Starrbar
Pillowfort: It'll be Starrbar, but I'm still waiting for my key.
Archive Of Our Own: Starrbar